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Letters

by Caleb Caldwell

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1.
For Now 04:04
If you will let me go, I’ll show you what I know. I’ve had a lot of time to try and get this right. You must not know, but this how it goes: I’ll stumble blindly till I find my sight. And I’ll just ignore every sign that you put in my way. ‘Cause I just abhor the thought of you taking my agency away. I am on this road once again. Can’t see the start, can’t see the end, But I’ll trust you. And I, I know the darkness lies ahead, And soon we’ll all be dead, But for now, but for now, you lead. It’s starting to make sense; all of the emptiness Somehow covered up what you had shown. I’m battling regrets, can’t let my happiness Get in the way of giving up control. And I’ll sometimes glance at the signs that you put in my way. Maybe I’ll take a chance, and try giving all my agency away. I am on this road once again. Can’t see the start, can’t see the end, But I’ll trust you. And I, I know the darkness lies ahead, And soon we’ll all be dead, But for now, but for now, you lead. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen the moon. Can’t let it ruin my mood, I’ve got to stay away. I like to contemplate, that at a later date, I’ll stay up late, and he’ll shine on my face. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen the moon. Can’t let it ruin my mood, I’ve got to stay away. I like to contemplate, that at a later date, I’ll stay up late, and he’ll shine on my face. I am on this road once again. Can’t see the start, can’t see the end, But I’ll trust you. And I, I know the darkness lies ahead, And soon we’ll all be dead, But for now, but for now, oh, I am on this road once again. Can’t see the start, can’t see the end, But I’ll trust you. And I, I know the darkness lies ahead, And soon we’ll all be dead, But for now, but for now, you lead.
2.
The War 04:08
I remember what you said, When I told you what I’d done. I had promised I would not, But I had known what I’d become. When the letter arrived, you swore at me. I tried to cry, but I could not. I wanted to stay, but you said leave. We both cried ourselves to sleep. Maybe it’s all a dream, Maybe I’m still at home. Please God save her for me. I’ll serve my time, and live alone. I was blind not to see What you are, and what we could be. I pray that you’ll wait for me. Oh I hope you’ll still love me, When I’m back from the war. I chose the life of a soldier, Because I couldn’t stand the pain Of wasting time and growing older, Without a purpose to my name. I spent my nights begging God That he would show me what to do. If I was smarter, I might have known That he was leading me to you. Maybe it’s all a dream, Maybe I’m still at home. Please God save her for me. I’ll serve my time, and live alone. I was blind not to see What you are, and what we could be. I pray that you’ll wait for me. Oh I hope you’ll still love me, When I’m back from the war. Maybe it’s all a dream, Maybe I’m still at home. Please God save her for me. I’ll serve my time, and live alone. I was blind not to see What you are, and what we could be. I pray that you’ll wait for me. Oh I hope you’ll still love me, When I’m back from the war. I flew across the sea. I ran away; I felt empty. We both stay so lonely. I hope that you’ll love me, When I’m back from the war.
3.
Not One 03:47
For is it just for a man to say That he is just - is he truthfully? I’ve traveled ‘round this broken world, And I’ve not found one, no, not a single one Who loves his brother. We should all love each other. I’ve tried to see the good in everyone, But I’ve not found one, No, not a single one, Righteous enough to save. Able to show us grace. Is it all in vain? And I know it’s hard to hear, Oh I know you hold me dear, But I’ll see through what I’ve begun, There is no one righteous, no not one. For I cannot contain this thought: That we are judged by what we have wrought. I’ve tried to do what I thought was right. I’m scared to lose, I need you by my side. I did this for you, I’ve tried to save as many as I could, But I’ve not found one, no, not a single one, Wanting to be saved, Asking for His grace. Is it all in vain? And I know it’s hard to hear, Oh I know you hold me dear, But I’ll see through what I’ve begun, There is no one righteous, no not one. So we’ll scream. So we’ll scream. So we’ll beg. So we’ll weep. So we’ll scream. So we’ll scream. So we’ll beg. So we’ll weep. And I know it’s hard to hear, Oh I know you hold me dear, But I’ll see through what I’ve begun, There is no one righteous, no not one.
4.
This Far 05:24
Empty houses, darkened streets. We leave to know what we don’t know, And find the answers that we have to seek. They let us go without goodbyes. We’re off to seek a greater prize; Better a life spent searching, Than a life not spent at all. When we began our dreams shined bright, But they won’t keep us warm tonight. The old flames all die, And the cold tears at our eyes. But we’ve fallen down, so we’ll sleep for now, And wake up when its morning. Our tears soak the ground, and trickle down to the dead, But we can’t join them yet. We all came this far. We all ran from something. We don’t have to go on, If tonight you’d rather hold me. Our broken lives were stretching thin. We sought relief brought from the end; A new beginning was our only hope. Our shadows followed as we ran. We can’t escape the darkened lands; We’ve lived too long in cities without light. The shouts keep us awake at night. The scenes imprinted on our eyes. The silence drives us mad, And the light reveals our lies. But we’ve fallen down, so we’ll sleep for now, And wake up when its morning. Our tears soak the ground, and trickle down to the dead, But we can’t join them yet. We all came this far. We all ran from something. We don’t have to go on, If tonight you’d rather hold me. I don’t wanna wait. I don’t wanna wait for this. I don’t wanna wait. I don’t wanna wait for this. I don’t wanna wait. I don’t wanna wait for this. I don’t wanna wait. I don’t wanna wait for this. We all came this far. We all ran from something. We don’t have to go on, If tonight you’d rather hold me. We all came this far. We all ran from something. We don’t have to go on, If tonight you’d rather hold me. I have come this far. I have ran my whole life. I know I have to go on, But tonight I’d rather hold you.
5.
You like to paint the sky, But only when it storms. The lightning always makes you smile, Even if you were crying before. You’ll take that purple and white, And hang it on the wall. Standing beside the lightning strikes, You leave me in awe. And just like you paint the sky, I’ll write a song for you. You are too good for me. You must know, ‘cause it shows. I will tread carefully, So as not to misrepresent perfection. You’re like the sun in my eyes, Cause you’re too bright to hide from. You’re the star in the sky That the moon takes its light from. And I cannot comprehend why you chose To condescend to be with me. You listen to music late at night To help you fall asleep. Hallelujah is your favorite lullaby; You always have the grandest dreams. You’ll tell me that you dreamt of a queen, The prettiest thing you’ve ever seen. All I can imagine is your face, As you smile back at me. With your hair so bright, And a smile that could bring in the tide. God made the sun to light up your eyes. You are too good for me. You must know, ‘cause it shows. I will tread carefully, So as not to misrepresent perfection. You’re like the sun in my eyes, Cause you’re too bright to hide from. You’re the star in the sky That the moon takes its light from. And I cannot comprehend why you chose To condescend to be with me. And if God died for you, Then the least I could do is give my life, too. You are too good for me. You must know, ‘cause it shows. I will tread carefully, So as not to misrepresent perfection. You’re like the sun in my eyes, Cause you’re too bright to hide from. You’re the star in the sky That the moon takes its light from. And I cannot comprehend why you chose To condescend to be with me.
6.
Far Away 04:49
When the snow falls, I will hold you in my arms, And keep you warm Through the night. When the sun’s gone, I will lead you through the dark. You will make it To the light. The light Is so far away from me. It’s so far away from me, But I know You can make it, You can make it. I’ve been chided, Stricken, blinded all my life. I don’t know Wrong from right. You don’t deserve this. I am humbled by your life. I am blind, You are sight. The light Is so far away from me. It’s so far away from me, But I know You can make it, You can make it. My mind screams out, I can hear it now, It says end yourself. It says end yourself. Your words speak soft, Buried in my thoughts, It will be okay. It will be okay. Snow is falling, Day is dawning, I forget What the dark looks like. I gave you shelter, Guided your steps Through the dark. Even so, You saved me. The light Is so far away from me. It’s so far away from me, But I know You can make it, You can make it. Your light Is shining so bright in my eyes. It’s shining so bright in my eyes, Oh I think I can make it, I can make it.
7.
You 04:58
Son of Adam, Son of Abram, Son of Isaac, Son of Jacob, Son of Jesse, Son of David, Look upon this world You chose to call Your home. You shall pay the highest cost. The mothers weep for what they lost. Your own will join them soon. You’re just a baby in a manger, fraught with danger, Bringing kings to their knees; They know the reckoning that You bring. The angels are shouting in the clouds; Only You can hear them now, Almost loud enough to drown out The cries of agony on the tree - Your life begins and ends in tears, do You see The prophets? One in the river, one in the sea, Both proclaiming Your entry into this desolation. The cup is waiting, But sleep in Mary’s arms for now. You’ll be the rise and fall of gods and kings. The world will curse the news You bring; I wonder if You understand. For they cannot, their lowly plans are not like Yours. You put the breathe into their lungs Before You took Your very first. Before You roamed the desert, You quenched their thirst. Just sleep for now - You’ll be screaming Abba soon. The idol cannot stand; His severed head And severed hands, They bow before You. They worship him, but he is dead. You will be too, but unlike him, You’ll rise again. So look upon this world You chose to call Your home. You’ll find it rather lonely when You start to roam The desert plains of Canaan, all alone. The voice of John is heard screaming in the stones. The darkness comes to tempt You now; “Let the water burst up from the ground. Let the sons of Jacob hear the sound; Salvation’s light all around,” But You say “No! This is not the way that I chose. Can You not see what he has shown? The glory as of a son of man among the clouds, But first they have to drive the nails down.” So sleep for now; You’ll be screaming Abba soon. Your mother’s tears fall on Your face. I wonder if You know her name - Can You remember? When You decided to save her soul from what her sin had rendered? Look up at the stars above. Take comfort in the Father’s love. The day will come when You’re a man of sorrow, But there are stars tonight and a Son tomorrow.
8.
Morning 04:36
Thousands of people lose their faith, As thousands of people begin to pray to a god They only know by name. Some cry out, “Why would you let this happen?” Some whisper, “I knew it all along; How could a god who says I love you Let this madness go so long?” Faithful weep and doubters curse, As an empty heart fills an empty hearse. His children scream out, “Why? We weren’t the ones who yelled, ‘Crucify!’” I’m so scared, but there’s light in the morning, But you, will still cry in the morning Cause I, will go in the morning, And you’ll be alone in the morning, And I, will die in the morning, And you, will cry in the morning, But I, will see light in the morning, And there, will be no more mourning. This life I have, I want to live, But it’s His to take as it’s His to give. I only wish you didn’t have to cry. A chapter ends but not the story, How I hope it was for his glory. I ask you please, don’t let yours go to waste. Here I am, I face the end. I always knew it would come to this, But I don’t want to die. It was for my sins they yelled, “Crucify!” I’m so scared, but there’s light in the morning, But you, will still cry in the morning Cause I, will go in the morning, And you’ll be alone in the morning, And I, will die in the morning, And you, will cry in the morning, But I, will see light in the morning, And there, will be no more mourning. If it’s His will that I don’t awaken, Then please don’t be shaken, Cause I know if I’m taken, I’m taken home. And if it’s time to go, Then I will let you know, And we can say our last goodbyes. And you can hold me tightly, And feel my body, While it’s still warm.
9.
Homesick 04:15
Please don’t leave me on my own, Far away, so far away from home. I don’t want to be alone, Far away, from what I had known. I’ve grown homesick, I’m missing home. Please take me someplace I don’t have to be alone. I don’t want to lose this fight, I don’t know, don’t know wrong from right. You put me here, I don’t know why, But I know, that I have to try. I’ve grown homesick, I’m missing home. Please take me someplace I don’t have to be alone. I’ve grown homesick, I’m missing home. I will find someplace I can finally call my own. And I don’t understand why we had to come here first. This broken land is our blessing, and our curse. Yes, I know this is all for you, But if that’s true, why can’t I see your face? I’ve grown homesick, I’m missing home. Please take me someplace I don’t have to be alone. I’ve grown homesick, I’m missing home. I will find someplace I can finally call my own. And if you don’t leave me, I’ll follow you. I can’t make any promises ‘cause lying’s all I do. I am so sorry for what I have done. I have ran the race, I don’t know if I’ve won. I’ve grown homesick, I’m missing home. Please take me someplace I don’t have to be alone.
10.
Above 04:03
Little girl needs some love cause, She doesn’t find it in her dad or mom. Crying girl needs some hope cause, Her brother lost his with a loaded gun Broken girl needs a lover. She doesn’t care who, just hold her hand. Fill her heart up and hold her, And you will be her whole wide world. Desperate girl sells her future, To have a night or two to just be numb. But empty bottles, empty hearts, Empty promises won’t be enough. She sees her dad as a traitor. With teary eyes she curses mom. All the friends she made left her, All her lovers found their loves. Empty girl meets a preacher, But all he’s gonna do is judge. But he dries her eyes with his words and, He tells that she’s always loved. Hopeful girl reads a good book, But all she sees is the “thou shall nots”. She hides the book in a closet, It’s just another lost cause. Tired girl wants to sleep and, Fantasize that she won’t wake up. She sees a light in her dreams and, The tears roll down her smiling face. Dying girl spent her whole life Trying to find some kind of love. But as she lies in her white bed, All she can see is what’s up above.

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released July 17, 2016

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Caleb Caldwell Nashville, Tennessee

If David Lynch wrote pop songs.
Nashville, TN.

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